Desired things....

My lovely work colleague and friend Rachael shared a poem with me today.  I've done a bit of research on it and found the full version.  It's a prose poem called Desiderata (latin for "desired things") by American writer Max Ehrmann.  

I often worry myself about a range of things, get down on myself and my inadequacies, so poems and writings like these help me to get a bit of perspective, focus on the important things and have some faith in myself.  They also reassure me that I am not alone in my worries as they are obviously things that have troubled at least one other person (either the writer or someone the writer is addressing).

I decided today that, once I've moved to my new haven of tranquility, I will get back to making time to reflect on my life and the good I've done and all the things/people I hold dear rather what I haven't done and could have done better.  I need to  keep focus on what's important, to fill my life with as much positive, creative activity, thought and people as possible and tell myself I'm doing ok, rather than beating myself up and (sometimes quite literally) gazing at my navel.  Otherwise I feel rotten.

Although I feel I'm a natural optimist, I also feel like I'm a bit of a black dog too, so it is hard work to keep on the bright side.   But the hard work, when I've got the energy and mental space, is worth it in the end - practice makes perfect.  When I've made time for this in the past I have felt the best I feel.   My heart is a muscle and the pump of my soul and, just like any other muscle or bit of kit, needs a regular service and a good fitness regime.  The thing is, when I need to stick to it the most is usually the time I find it most difficult to, but I am finding more and more that the more I do it the longer the effects spill over into the harder times.

I've lived in a very unpeaceful place for a while now and I've found it hard to find peace.  I'm hoping my new home and surroundings will be more of the sanctuary I need, rather than a place to dread coming home to, whether consciously or on a deep level.  

This piece of writing has reminded me not to listen to the news so much and to put my protection bubble on when I know I'm going to encounter negative, draining people.   As a human emotion sponge, I mop other people's moods, which are often down and destructive and they distract me from my focus.  I am getting to know myself better and becoming kinder to myself. I need to work on protecting myself, whilst keeping and unleashing the open, optimistic, creative and generous person I  know I am, but needs coaxing out again.

This poem also reminds me a bit of that Gil Scott Heron thing as I imagine it read to music in the 70s for some reason!

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy"

I love this chap - Kaa from Jungle Book.  He sings "Trust in me" and I need to do this a bit more (trust in myself, rather than in hypnotic pythons, that is)