1. It was sunny
2. I got a lovely enveloping hug from Joe
3. Lots of people at work told me they love my hair
4. Joe has done his 2010 Christmas card design

Contentment

I've enjoyed a weekend of contentment - one of very few in my entire life.  I went away to an Overlook-type hotel in Warwickshire for a dirty weekend.  I relaxed (which I find it hard to do) and I didn't beat myself up about having to "make the most of it" (which I normally do).  I enjoyed delicious food without being feeling too guilty (which I often do).  I felt like I was living my life how I want to.  I was in the here and now (which I find hard to do).  This is my life as it is, and I enjoyed it.  This is a great feeling - "gratitude, not attitude".  I need to get the balance of aspiring to be all I can be with being happy with my relatively plentiful lot.  Once out of balance, it can be self-flagellating and immensely self-destructive.

On a lighter note, I took some photos (mainly with Galina in mind as we saw lots of really old things!), ate a delicious homemade chocolate brownie (Joe had a wholeseed muffin) in my new favourite place (Rhubarb Rhubarb in Leamington Spa) and were discounted galore (inspired by Galina, once again) as we got a brilliant early bird offer on the hotel, 2 for 1 entry to Warwick Castle, 2 for 1 at Cafe Rouge, and buy one meal, get another for £1 at Prezzo!  Also spent very nourishing time mouching in Oxfam bookshop where we bought some books (and Donnie Darko for £2.99 on DVD) and in a wonderful old fashioned sweetshop.

 We took in a walk of Warwick castle walls, turrets and towers, but didn't heed enough warning of the sign at the beginning saying it was a one-way tour.  This meant, that once we both started freaking out about the endless, narrow, dark, smelly winding stone staircases up the towers, there was no way back!  We had to go up and down three before we could escape, each with increasing height as our legs got wobblier.  It's odd we've both developed severe vertigo as we've got older.  I had to keep away from the edges as I had this very strong urge to throw myself off.  When we got down I had to go for a fast walk to get the adrenalin out of my legs, which were obviously ready to jump to escape!  I would have been a rubbish soldier defending the battlements.

I love Leamington Spa.  I would like to live there.  We went for a reviving walk around Kenilworth, taking in the bleak grey sky, chilled but warm as we wound through the greens, greys and oranges of the last days of autumn.  I loved the misty darkness this weekend - embroiled with a full moon that I caught glimpses of through the passing light cloud.  This is what life is about - good food, love, art, history, architecture, passion and the great outdoors.

Que sera sera

1. Things are not always as they seem
2. Someone on the radio spoke up for the value of education for education's sake - the value of a classical education.  Creating free thinking minds is of benefit of society.
3. Joe has finished his 2011 Calendar designs
4.  I am not alone

Last days - Detroit to Georgetown, Washington DC

Tuesday 28th

Stephen dropped us off at Detroit airport as we said our fond farewells - thank you for being such amazing hosts, Stephen, Galina and Isobella, what an amazing week of firsts and other wonderful authentic american experiences, courtesy of our fantastic american cousins!

Joe was so looking forward to the return flight in what he called the baked beans tin with wings.  It was a small plane, and we bumped around it for about the full hour, which seemed like much longer than the 8 hour transatlantic flight.  We took the shuttle bus and train from Baltimore to DC and rocked up at our rather lovely Georgetown Inn hotel by about 3pm.  I was excited about expanding further on the glimpses I had had of this part of the city when I first arrived here last week.  And I was not disappointed.  I think this was my favourite area on my trip.  Beautiful post-revolution townhouses, from the end of 1700s and beyond.  I took lots of photos so you can see for yourself (soon).  

After dozing in our lovely room, each with an enveloping king size bed to slumber on, we wandered around the Georgetown area, stopping at The Tombs for a wonderful burger, onion rings and ginger ale.  Joe found their homebrew the most palatable of the trip.  The interior of the Tombs was very familiar and it turned out to be where they filmed St Elmo’s Fire!  So, having spent the previous two weeks continually thinking I was on the set of a John Hughes film, I actually found myself there!  It was bedecked with rowing paraphanailia including drawings of the Cambridge and Oxford boat races and crews of bygone years.  

So we felt strangely at home here.  After dinner, we went for a dusk-time stroll, down the hill to the Potomac River and to amazing views from the Key Bridge towards the Mall and then out towards Arlington and across Georgetown.  Brilliant.  We both got a bit of vertigo from the height and length of the bridge and wondered at the millions of joggers running around.  On our way back to the hotel we purchased beautiful postcards of Laura and George W Bush and a commemorative shopping back of Barack Obama and his splendid family.  Classy.

Oh yeah, and we had amazing ice-cream at a cute parlour across the road from the hotel.

Wednesday 29th 

After our first and only disappointing meal/breakfast, we explored Georgetown further, discovering the oldest remaining house in America and a system of canals in the back streets.  We took a guided barge tour of the canals. The boat was pulled by mules and the guide and boat people were dressed up in traditional 1700s clothing.  It was brill!  It was soon time to head back to the hotel, where we checked out then made our way to the airport for the flight home.  At the airport there was time to reflect on a few things....

Sociology Corner (can’t help it)

I’ve noticed more middle class professional black people than in England.

I’ve also noticed that apart from the waiting staff, almost all of the people working in the services (retail, car hire, hotels, airports, drivers, cleaners) are not white.  

I’ve seen quite a few adverts on TV, on the street and metro for charities.  I guess because there’s no welfare.

People are incredibly polite and considerate, not only in transactions but just when your going about your daily business. 

Reasons why I have to go home:

My hair straighteners and epilator don’t work on the reduced electrical voltage supply

I'd miss dairy milk 

I’d miss my family and friends

It’s quite hard to get hold of fresh fruit and vegetables when on the move

It’s hard to walk anywhere

The lack of “town centre” plays existential havoc with me

There are too many divides

Too many big cars

Reasons why I’d like to stay

People are fab and positive

I have family here

Public transport is good and cheap (where it exists)

There’s loads of space

The scenery is impressive

Housing is cheap

It’s clean

Service is good

It feels like anything is possible

How lucky I am...

Ann Arbour - University of Michigan - 27th September

This morning we had a nice long lie in whilst Stephen and Galina were at work.  At lunchtime, Galina came home and drove us to Ann Arbour for the afternoon.  This is a very  nice artsy and traditional town about 40 miles outside of Detroit.  It's the home of the University of Michigan (best in the State) and is quite small.  Galina says there are three types of people there - the hippy/arty lot, the students and the professors.  So we mooched around the nice art shops, book shops and comic shops, taking in the lovely old buildings.  We walked around the university campus and hung out with the cheeky squirrels and chipmunks who were gathering nuts in a frenzy.  The campus had amazing buildings from the end of 1800s and 1920s, red brick, some art nouveau, interspersed with lawns and more beautiful trees.  The students were milling around, and actually wearing the University of Michigan hoodies and caps.  It felt like I was on the set to those 1980s american films and I thought I might at any moment bump into a young John Cusack, Molly Ringwold or Matthew McCarthy.  We stumbled upon a building and quad which was almost, stone for stone, a rebuild of Kings College Cambridge, including the Chapel, but in this case it was an amazing law library.  We took Stephen, Galina and Isobella out for a meal as it was our last night.  We went to Sheilds, a Detroit diner since 1946.  We had square pizza the size of several bricks.  We ate some of it then took the rest home in a box!  After a “You Bet” style packing extravaganza, whereby we bet each other to what extent we would need to squeeze all our booty in our suitcases, we bored S&G with Joe’s website, which they did actually marvel at.  Quite right too.

Indian River, Mackinaw Island, Surf & Turf - 24-26th Sept

Two-scoops Friday

We drove to Indian River where Stephen and Galina have their cabin on Lake Burt.  This was an even more quaint american town, mainly for the tourists who like fishing, hunting and hanging out on the beach at the lake.  It reminded me of the places I’ve seen on 80s films like Stand by Me.  

We went to Paula’s for breakfast.  Today I had Raspberry pancakes.  And oh my lord, these were good too.  Paula’s walls were lined with all sorts of teapots, and the local small town folk - mullets, overbleached hair, denim, baseball caps and trucks!  Joe spotted a patriotic picture of a crying eagle with the twin towers in the background, illustrating a moving poem about “terrorists beware - America will prevail”.  Beautiful.  Interesting.  Weird.  

Stephen and Galina showed us their Cabin on the lake, which looked like the sea.  It was quite stormy and windy, but we could see that in the sunshine it would be an idyllic place to be.  Apparently when it’s calm, the water is clear and dreamy for swimming as it’s freshwater.  Isobella gave us a guided tour whilst Galina packed everything up for the winter.  We drove to the ice-cream parlour and chocolate shop in Indian River.  Scoop one - I have another chocoholic’s dream - this time chocolate ice cream and lumps of chocolate.  A small serving was rather large.  Then I got lured into chocolate tasting by the chocolate-making owner of the place.  He made me eat some handmade chocolate coated hard toffee (like a Dime bar but nicer) and a handmade chocolate caramel.  This was good.  I ended up getting some Halloween chocolates and Mavis brought some nutty ones for me to bring back for Mum.   By this time, I was starting to get brain freeze and a chocolate head as I realised I’d not had any for over a week, without even noticing. 

We drove back to Mavis’s and decided not to go to Makinac City.  Instead we just hung out, chatted and ate chicken curry, and scoop two - another Dairy Queen pudding (this time I had an M&M blizzard and a second round of brain freeze) before going to bed.

   

Saturday 

Stephen made us sausage and eggs for breakfast then we all drove to Makinac City and took the fast boat to Makinac Island.  The city looked like a holiday toytown.  More traditional wood paneled shops, painted in bright colours, selling fudge and sports wear.  The weather was windy and rainy so the ferry crossing was pretty hairy.  My usual preference is to stand on deck and let the wind whistle past my ears and take in big gulps of fresh sea air.  To do this today would have resulted in me getting completely soaked so I sat tight in the cabin as we flew across the waves, with the occassional slam onto the lake surface, with plenty of spray obscuring the view of the Makinac Bridge - the 6th longest suspension bridge in the world - it links the upper and lower peninsulas of Michigan state.  

Once landed, we strolled around the Island, which was a haven of tranquility as no cars are allowed.  Tourists hire bikes, walk around or take horse drawn carriages to get around.  We spent some time milling around the fudge shops and the sportswear shops and the fudge shops and the tat shops and the fudge shops and the fudge shops.  Stephen organised a private horse and cart to take the five of us on a guided tour around the island.  This way we got to escape from the hoards of tourists and were able to take a sneaky peek at the massive holiday homes of the richies who com

e here during the summer.  We were taken through the woods and saw some cool trees and plants.  It was very quiet.  By the time we got to the main street, we were all quite chilled out, but chilly.  So we went to Goodfellows for hot chocolate and lunch.  The hot chocolate was very sweet and not as good as the nice stuff in England.  Referring to the earlier statement about not seeing many fat people - well, we did here.  Fat count was up.  Also we realised that a lot of restaurants play country music and have sports on TV.  After a final lap of main street and a firm no to Isobella (age 4.5) that the collectors figure of Donnie Darko was not an appropriate memento of the trip, we got the ferry back to the mainland and drove back to Mavis’s house.  

In the evening, I met an actual Republican.  Mavis babysat Isobella, whilst Stephen and Galena took us out to meet Stephen’s school friends Chris and Greg and his wife Terri.  We went to “Top of the Greeks” and had surf and turf!  Oh my, the steak was delicious.  Tender and melt in the mouth.  Between mouthfuls we discovered quite a bit about welfare in the US and had interesting discussions about such things as housing benefit and incentives to work.  We also found out about homecoming and other teen customs we’d only ever heard about on films.  Once home, we half watched A Knight’s Tale, mourned the passing of Heath Ledger, ate some halloween chocolates, then went to sleep.

Sunday - drive back, costco, grill, xfiles

After a not so early start, I made a photo tour of Mavis’s house and garden, then we packed up, said our goodbyes and headed back to Detroit.  I sat next to Isobella and we watched old episodes of Scooby Doo on the in-car DVD system!!!   We stopped for a couple of wee stops.  One was at one of the purpose built “rest areas”, which provided parking, picnic areas with BBQ grills, loos and vending machines.  It reminded me of the places we used to stop on our travels in England when I was little, and I realised they have seem to have disappeared, replaced by service stations, I think.  I also discovered that broiled means grilled and grilled means barbequed.  The little taster of the “fall colours” on the way up had turned into a more meaty mouthful by the time we drove back.  I keep getting overwhelmed by the hoards of trees there are everywhere we’ve been  - great forests as far as the eye can see, but also in the towns and gardens.  I wasn’t expecting this at all.  So we had a treat of some beautiful banks of orange, red, purple, yellows and green trees, all clumped together.  When I looked back out of the rear window at one point it was like a patchwork quilt of colours.  The photos really didn’t do it justice. 

We got back to S&G’s mid-afternoon, had a spot of lunch, then went with Stephen to Costco to get some steak and srimps for the grill fest that he had been promising us all week.  We’d heard american steak was the best, and the tasters we’d had so far had not let us down, but more was yet to come. Costco is a cash and carry, but on a scale I’d never seen before - stuff as far and high as the eye could see.  Bloomin heck.  Stephen grilled us some fillet mignon steaks to perfection, along with xxxking size prawns and yummy salad.  THANK YOU!! Joe and I watched 3 episodes of the x-files then went to bed will full tums and crazy dreams.

Road Trip - Thursday 23rd September - Detroit to Cheboygan, Michigan

More of my blog from my recent trip to the US.

We drove from Detroit to Cheboygan, which is at the northern most tip of the lower peninsula of Michigan.  This was a 4 hour road trip and we saw such cool countryside.  Loads of trees, tall water towers with town names written on the side, white panel farm houses, red wooden barns and metal silos (like my fisher price one which moo-ed when you opened the barn doors).  Bits of it reminded me of the Wizard of Oz and other bits of Northern Exposure. 

It certainly was hunting and fishing country.  All the men folk were large and bearded with baseball caps, and their lady friends weren’t much different.  

We’d heard about the “Fall Colours”, where the trees turn from green to a multitude of oranges, yellows, reds and purples and as we drove further north we were teased with early tit-bits of this amazing natural phenomenon.  We stopped at the Lumberjack Cafe for breakfast.  Oh my word, I tasted the BEST blueberry pancakes.  A serving consisted of three 7”ish pancakes.  On top of this you could have as many as you could eat for free.  Joe rose to the challenge, and only managed another 1.  The record is 9.  The decor of this place was done out like a hunting log cabin, with stuffed bears and deer and moose heads on the walls.  After a quick stop at an even cheaper Old Navy and very cheap Gap (I left my purse in the changing room) we were back on the road again.  

Our drive into Cheboygan was along a road that was flanked on one side by Lake Mullett and Lake Burt on the other.  These were apparently the smaller inland lakes, as opposed to the great lakes, but they looked pretty great to me.  They were lined with cute holiday cabins and more trees.  

Cheboygan was a traditional small American town, with an actual main street with shops, cafes and businesses in older buildings.  Stephen took us on a quick tour, showing us the Dairy Queen where Aunty Mavis used to work and where the family lived out back of when they first arrived here from Kuwait.  He also showed us the old Roy family home which was a lovely wood paneled house with porch and steps up to the front door. Amazingly the similar 5 bedroom home next door was on the market for about $100,000.  So that’s about £65,000.  Oh my goodness.  Joe and I couldn’t quite get over this and started to think perhaps a move to America might be a good idea.  So much more boom for your buck with the housing and space.  

We arrived at Aunty Mavis’s with a warm welcome.  Her home is a modular home, pre-built, brought to the land in two bits on the back of a lorry and then fixed together on arrival.  It was set in 3 acres of land at the edge of the town, boardered by woodland and a little creek.  We watched the chipmunks, squirrels and birds in the garden, but didn’t get to see the family of deer that often hang out.  We just hung around and chatted and drank tea, then Mavis cooked her legendary chicken curry with salad and bhaji (steamed cabbage and tomato).  For pudding, Stephen went to the Dairy Queen and brought us each back a Blizzard - ice cream mixed up with bits of yummy things.  I had a chocoholics delight - chocolate ice cream with chocolate truffle lumps.  This was good.  After more chatting we went to bed.  It was so warming to hang out with Mavis.  She's so kind and funny and chilled out.  And her house is full of sweets, just like my Nanny's (her eldest sister), 

Birthday Boy!

On Sunday I went to my nephew's 4th birthday party and we all had an ace time.  He is so cute and so is his lovely big sister.  She is 6 and is a brilliant reader - she read to us all - Alice in Wonderland ladybird book.  I loved it!  She also gave us a starry performance of her ballet dancing, and we played name that tune (to a tuneless recorder) and another game we made up out of Ethan's Storm Trooper figure packaging!  She was reading words like leadership, intelligence and mechanical skills.  She is so clever.  I am biased but also incredibly proud and in wonder of her.  She's such a strong and inspiring little bean, who I am filled with love for and love helping her be all she can be.  Ethan was too busy throwing himself around, but we did share a tender moment as he threw himself on me and asked me to read him a book called, Hey I love you!  He snuggled in under my arm and it was precious!

Friday

1.  I went to see Ross Noble with Joy and Joe and he was very very funny
2.  I did a massage for a new customer and it was good.  Helped me out of my blue mood.
3.  I changed the bedding and it smells lovely.

Thursday

1.  I have good friends at work - we are all looking after each other
2. I had sausage, mash and peas at the Stratford Haven sausage festival.  I went for the red wine and garlic option. Others had Chorizo and pork and sweet chilli.  My choice was the best.  This was followed by homemade apple and raspberry tart with nut crumble topping and cream.  Delicious.  This was all accompanied by probably some of my bestest people in the world - bro, hub and bro's beeyatch.   Good fun had by all.
3. Joe got asked to go to India by a friend's son who likes his art.

Phijosophy and serendipity

I haven't yet finished telling my tales of America, but I will.  In the meantime, I'm getting back to the original purpose of this blog, as I have lost track of it recently, at a time when I really need it.

So I'm going to tell you about the good thing that happened yesterday...

I had two really good learning experiences - I went to day 2 of my ILM Leadership & Management course in the day, then in the evening went to the PALS AGM, which was a meeting with other people who are mentoring children who have been adopted.  At both events I met inspiring and interesting people, and learnt more about the world, other people's lives and myself.  Always good.  Much of what I heard was very humbling and profoundly affecting. eg. when you realise, feel and see what small children are subjected by the people who are supposed to be protecting them and then see what impact it has on the rest of their lives.  It was bullying we were discussing in this context.

I got the feeling the universe is starting to conspire with me.  For example, one option I'm thinking of if I get made redundant, is to set myself up as a management consultant, and this came to the fore on Monday when I went to meet a business advisor at Business Link and we discussed, amongst other things, the importance of networking, and then yesterday, when chatting to the tutor on the ILM course - it turns out she's a management consultant, with lots of experience, enthusiasm and encouragement, and she offered to help me set myself up if that's what I decide!  She said it's really important when you're starting out, and people helped her when she did and she's passing it on.  Is this what they call serendipity?  Or is it a result of what I am starting to put out there, since I reached rock bottom, let all the negativity out, then decided to get pro-active and make the changes I want to.  I am putting out lots of stuff at the moment, and maybe it's starting to deliver.

Today, a lovely new friend at work told me I was a philosopher, and I liked this a lot.  Not only because she said it in a positive way, but also that she recognises that I am a thinker and that's a good helpful thing. Often, people are quite derogatory about this trait - eg.  "you think too much", "too much thinking, not enough action", "pie in the sky", but at the moment, thinking is really helping me come to terms with what is happening in my life at the moment and working things out.  I also realised that me being a philosopher is helping my friends.

PS.  another good thing is that my wonderful friend Joy brought me a heart shaped blackboard a couple of weeks ago.  I chose it in a shop when she insisted on buying me something.  I don't know why I chose it really - it looked nice, I thought Joe and I could leave loving/abusive messages for each other.  But then I needed a way to keep reminding me of the things I need to focus on to get my work life back on track, and there hanging on the wall was my blackboard, which I wrote a positive affirmation on, and then when I need to tell myself something new, I change it.  At the moment it says - "I am the master of my destiny" and "Action leads to satisfaction".  Thank you Joy

PPS.  In this challenging time, I've really felt blessed by my friends who seem to be coming at me from all angles at the moment, without me even asking. Friends I've not been in touch with for a while have contacted me out of the blue, and said exactly what I needed to hear, lots of different things in different ways, even without me saying I needed all this stuff.  I have been surrounded by lovely lunches, satiating soirees, enlightening emails and touching telephone calls.  I feel wrapped up in kindness, and it's a very good feeling at the moment.  I have really felt weird negative feelings (including lots of anger that I've needed to express/exorcise) I've not had before, and you are all keeping me sane.  Maybe I'm just looking for goodness in any little way that I can at the moment, because it seems like it's sapping away.  But these are all good signs that I will be alright in the end.  Thank you wonderful friends.  I hope others fair well too.


So bon!